A Real Sort of Valentine

The Long View
February 2011

Ok. Truth-telling time. St. Valentine’s Day is not my favorite holiday. I think it started early for me in elementary school. I remember the kids who always had the cool Valentine’s cards: Spiderman, Superman, or even the highly prized Voltron and Thundercats Valentines. But my mom always shopped at the dollar store for those sorts of things, and I was always sent to school with the frilly generic cards that had hearts and some sort of schmaltzy Hallmark sentiment. It was really emasculating, and I probably need some therapy to get over it!

Then there was high school when I either had a girlfriend (yes—there were a few) and I fretted over the perfect gift, or didn’t have a girlfriend and was sad-so much pressure around one little day that’s supposed to be about amorous love, giving, and sharing that love with another.

Here’s what will blow you away about this holiday: associated with amorous love in the 14th century for unknown reasons, there were three separate priests/bishops who were martyred in the first 500 years or so of the Church’s history. There were no amorous situations, just three separate guys who loved Jesus enough to die for him and who were killed for their love.

Now, in that truth lies an important conversation. But hold on just a minute. We will get there, but not before we answer the so what question for today.

When Arizona Representative Gabby Gifford and 18 others were shot on the morning of January 8th, it affected me. Tucson is where I grew up in a community known for its diverse spirituality, weird brand of liberal conservatism, and generally easy and laid back pace of life.

It was easy for us all to jump to the conclusion that the shooting was politically motivated, something that now appears untrue. The 22-year-old was simply mentally unstable, and there were plenty of warning signs all of which went unheeded. But Sarah Palin’s graphic with gun sights over 22 congressional districts surfaced, and Barack Obama’s campaign speech where he said, “…if you bring a knife, we’ll bring a gun…” were all quickly recalled, and we were reminded how thin the veneer of civilization.

There’s so much disagreement in our nation with the language of revolution floating around everywhere, language that like it or not is simply a step away from violence…because that’s where revolutions go. Violent words and violent rhetoric meant for political posturing quickly gets adopted as physical acts. As Joe Anderson points out in this week’s blog post on The Spirit Porch, it happened 40 years ago and is happening again today. It was the Kent State massacre in Ohio that brought us back to the table and into conversation with each other, and today it’s 19 shot and six dead in Arizona, including a 9-year-old girl.

Why is it that the blood of martyrs seems to be necessary to call us back to our highest sense of ourselves, a perception manifested in what’s best in civilization, structured civil discourse and mostly slow and laborious social change?

The original Valentine’s Day, and the only one ultimately worth paying attention to, climaxed on a garbage heap outside of the gates of Jerusalem in a place called The Skull. And the first Valentine wasn’t a Christian martyr. No, the inscription over his head read, “King of the Jews.”

The real Valentine’s Day is where Jesus shows us in the most practical possible way what Loving God, and Loving People actually looks like. Are you willing to die for your enemies? Jesus was. He died at their hands, forgiving and not condemning them.

So this Valentine’s Day I would like to call us all back to our first vocation of love. Not the amorous schmaltzy kind of love. I want to remind us all who were baptized into Christ’s death and resurrection and who call ourselves Christian, that the kind of love we are called to demonstrate in civilization is lived out in service, sacrifice, and forgiveness…not hot and angry words.

What do you think? Could this sort of Valentine’s Day change the world? Personally, because of my Lord Jesus, I would like to give it a try.

From our Longwood lanai, God loves you, and I do too!

Pastor Nathan

Simple Love

Valentine’s Day is coming up – a day filled with pleasure for some and apprehension for others. How many children worry that they will be the only one in the class who doesn’t receive a card? How many teens worry and wonder if they will receive a card, or if they should send a card – not to mention presents. How many adults keep florists, restaurants, confectioners, jewelers, very busy and prosperous for this one “special” day in the year?

As a kid, I was lucky – my school required that if children were bringing in Valentine cards for one, they had to bring them in for everyone in the class. From kindergarten through grade eight, I had the wonderful experience, in school, of feeling “liked” and being surrounded by others who looked forward to sharing Valentines, too! The day, in our house, was one that was mostly recognized in school – with my mother participating through her foresightedness by purchasing the packages of “kid cards” for my brothers and I to sign and distribute.

My parents didn’t need to do anything “special” because they demonstrated their love every day by participating in the daily acts of family life. We ate meals together, watched TV together, talked and argued together – all in the surrounding assurance that we had someone at our backs. That’s not to say that we were not also punished for childhood misbehavior – we definitely were – but it is to say that we were assured that parental love would always be ours. We knew that our parents would protect us from want and keep us safe from ourselves and others.

Both of our parents are gone, now, and even into late adulthood I retain the aura of their love. Through their examples I learned how to parent and even how to come to God’s grace. I did nothing to earn their love and devotion – they gave it out of the generosity of their souls, just as God did in giving us the crucified and risen Jesus. When Pastor Nathan talks about Grace, I always have to keep in mind that it’s nothing I merit, nothing I can either earn or reject – God gives it, through Jesus, whether I acknowledge it or not. What a comfort.

Author: Diane Bechtold

Civil Discourse

Three topics to always avoid: sex, religion and politics. No matter how even-handed you try to be, someone will always be genuinely offended by your words on either of the three. So I did religion for my last topic. I might as well do politics for this one.

I started college in Chicago the same week that the Democratic Convention began in 1968. The year that the anti-war movement hit it’s prime. The year that the Chicago police and the Illinois National Guard rioted and jeopardized an entire city with their rage . The year that civil discourse crumbled due to the Left’s disruption of every gathering, from the Convention to college campuses, to Sunday School classes, with their angry chants and fiery rhetoric. And that rhetoric continued to build, and hatred was spewed from every platform, from both the left and from the right in equal measure. Hatred spread throughout this country, and we learned to dismiss and loudly condemn those who disagreed with us. We called down the wrath of God on one another, and claimed the almighty honored only our own view, whatever it was. We gave the green light to vile behavior in support of moral principles, and celebrated our uncompromising righteousness --- until the Ohio National Guard took it upon themselves to open fire on the unarmed students at Kent State University and killed kids in cold blood, on National TV for everyone to see.

Then and only then, in 1970, did the nation sober up and step back from its self-righteous zeal. For the next 25 years we kept our self-righteous bad behavior in check, realizing that civil discourse is our only chance at making this nation work. Ronald Reagan on the right and Tip O’Neil on the left, showed us that we could disagree, yet still share a drink, a story and good fellowship, even friendship. Things were going pretty well.

Then Newt Gingrich decided to become Speaker of the House and re-animated self- righteous anger as the horse he rode to glory. We quickly forgot our hard won lessons, and for the past 15 years civil discourse has crumbled; giving way to angry chants, fiery rhetoric and denial of the other’s basic humanity and nobility. The only difference from 1969 is that this time around, the nastiness is led by the right not the left. Limbaugh, Hannity, Palin, Beck and their ilk have replaced Jerry Rubin, Abby Hoffman and their ilk. The same self-righteous rage just spit from the opposite side of the fence.

Then a misguided nut job pulls a trigger and a congresswoman takes the Kent State kids place on the ground.

This is the kind of thing that happens when we forget the humanity of those with whom we disagree. It is a central reason why civil discourse is a must in the public realm. When you create an environment of violent rhetoric, violent action is a tiny step away.

And the worst offenders are folks who cling tightly to their Bibles and claim to be defending the faith. Christians have a long history of this kind of “defense of God” thinking. The problem is that the rhetoric of rage is about as un-Christian as you can get.

God the Father Almighty; the creator of the universe, the alpha and the omega, doesn’t need our puny help, or protection. To suggest otherwise is to deny His omnipotence and diminish His grandeur. And when I read the New Testament, I fail to see a Christ who condemns, belittles or dehumanizes anyone – not even the soldiers who nailed him to a cross. All I see there is acceptance and grace.

So where does the Christian Right get the notion that decidedly uncivil discourse is doing the will of God? And if it’s not following the will of God, then who does all the thunder and lighting serve? I could be wrong about this, but I’m thinking it might just be playing into Satan’s hands. He’s a sly devil, he is. He also loves the irony of the defenders of the faith destroying the faith. And we stand around with egg on our faces.

Of course, I could be wrong. Joe Anderson, author
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1 This was the official assessment of the Walker Commission. Dan Walker, who chaired the commission, became the governor of the state of Illinois.

DISCLAIMER: The Spirit Porch is a St. Stephen Lutheran Church community platform for ideas and conversations about faith and life. Because of this the views expressed here do not necessarily represent those of St. Stephen Lutheran Church as an institution, or those of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.