Lenten Reflection - Day 13: by Julie Parker

READING: Romans 4: 13-25

In 1990 my husband & I were at our home in the Florida Keys. The men in our neighborhood planned a day of fishing, while we women planned a fun day in Key West. While I was waiting to leave I began having severe pain in my extremities, paralyzing pain, but as quickly as it came, it departed. Then with the same severity nausea struck. I thought it must be a form of flu, so I called a neighbor & asked them to go on without me. For the next 3 days I experienced variations of those original symptoms but worse each day. We came home and saw my doctor who had just read a medical paper about a very rare disorder call TTP, Thrombotic Topenia Purpena. When the doctor saw me, I was jaundiced, my kidneys had completely shut down and my platelets were in the low hundreds. I was barely conscious. The doctor recognized the symptoms, sent us straight to the hospital. It was the first case of TTP at Florida Hospital so it garnered a great deal of interest. That began a journey that ended with a 26 day hospital stay. During the first 2 weeks all the new plasma was destroyed in 24 hours, so they were keeping me alive but making no progress. I saw the sympathy and distress in their eyes when the doctors stood by my bed. Michele had called every family member and friend asking for their prayers as well as Saint Stephen's. The outpouring of love and support brings tears to my eyes to this day. I began praying and talking to God, trying to think of a reason that he would consider worthy for saving my life. I won't say it came quickly but it was truly like a light shining in my room. The complete knowledge that there was absolutely nothing I could offer God, after all He is God. Obviously I was not going to cure any diseases, bring world peace or anything else that gave my simple life importance and worth. Beyond being his beloved child, a mother and wife, I had no worth. As I lay there with all this love and knowledge pouring into me; I began to feel that he was going to save me, because he could. And that is all, not because I was important, worthy or deserving; but because of his unending love and grace; he saved me. The doctors marveled, for finally the platelets began building again and slowly I improved.

Why me? I do not know. I have known people I consider far more deserving who lost their battle with cancer, heart disease or other life taking situations. I am humbled further in the knowledge that God did save me. I will never doubt it.