Lenten Reflection - Day 19: by Joe Anderson

READING: Psalm 19

I actually believe in God the Father, Almighty, maker of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, his only begotten son, our Lord. I have studied His word. I have walked according to His counsel. I followed His precepts with vigor and determination. And then my brother died.

You would have liked Art. Everybody did. They called him “Mad Dog” in college because at 167 pounds he was still the fiercest competitor on the field. He had a heart as big as all outdoors. And at age 45 cancer took him away. Then Mom died on her way to get a drink of water one night. And Pop suffered the indignity of losing both his feet to diabetes, and chose finally to drift away in a fog of dementia. So at age 53 I became an orphan.

All in all, I haven’t seen much reward growing out of my faith. I’m not persecuted because of it, but neither am I protected from a thing by it. It didn’t keep my family alive and well. It hasn’t protected my prosperity. It buys me no cushion, whatsoever. Fortunes fall as fast as they grow. Illness strikes without invitation. Loved ones die. My heart rips asunder. I grieve and twist in the pit of despair on occasion. But here’s the one truth I know first hand. When I am in the pit, I am not alone. When I mutter to myself, there in the dark, I am not alone. And there in the dark, I have learned that the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, are acceptable in His sight, even when they drip with bile and angst. In the painful dark He has, therefore, become my strength; and from that, I trust that He will be my redeemer as well. It is enough.