Lenten Reflection - Day 25: by Cindy McClellan

READING: Numbers 21: 4-9

At the age of 23, I was going through a difficult time as I had watched my mom battle cancer for four years. I wasn’t angry with God. I just didn’t feel Him in my life. Finally, in April 1976, my mom left the hospital for the last time so that she could spend her final days at home. After she settled in, that evening each of us shared a special moment with her. My sister and I laughed over childhood memories and heard mom’s final words of love and encouragement. The conversation with my dad was more deep. They talked of their love for one another and of her dying – and that she was not afraid. That night she slipped into a coma and three days later she passed away. As I walked into her room early that Saturday morning, the Saturday before Palm Sunday , the sun was just coming up. I sat on the edge of the bed one last time – for one last goodbye. I wasn’t bitter or angry with God – I was just numb. But then, like a warm wave, I felt something remarkable as I looked at my mom. Yes, her body was there . But she wasn’t there –no laughter, no smile, no loving touch. And just like that I got it. God’s gift to us - the proof that He is real – is the gift of our soul – what makes us who we truly are. Like a spring thaw, the numbness melted into a sense of peace as I knew, right then, right there, that God truly did exist. And Easter, just eight days later, took on a new meaning for me from that moment on.