The story is told in Genesis about how three strangers come to Abraham and his nomadic home in the middle of the desert. Abraham offers them hospitality and bids them stay and be refreshed. What the story doesn't tell you at the outset is that he was entertaining angels unaware. In a foreshadowing of the Trinity, the angels represent three messengers from God who come to promise Abraham blessing ostensibly because of his insistent hospitality. It's out of this conversation that Abraham and Sarah have the promise of a son in Isaac.
The key piece of the conversation? Hospitality.
I love how Warren frames this in Day 10. At the end of his devotion he writes: "In Webster's Dictionary, the definition for hospitable is wedged between the word 'hospice,' which is a shelter, and the word 'hospital,' which is a place for healing. Ultimately, this is what we offer when we open our home in the true spirit of hospitality: we offer shelter; we offer healing."
For some, hospitality is a native disposition. For others, you just hope that sometime in their lives it gets learned. I remember a trip that Erin and I and the boys took into the mountains of West Virginia to visit a clergy couple that are dear friends of ours. We had the privilege of worshiping with them in one of their parishes (between them they serve four rural churches). Though it was terrific to be worshiping in their context, my most poignant memory of the experience was our family taking a seat in one of the church's pews. As we sat there a woman walked in who came and stood in front of us and literally glared at us. She then proceeded to sit in the pew behind us, and I have to tell you, I felt her staring holes in the back of our heads the whole service long. Afterwards we asked our friends what the issue was. Their response? "Oh, don't worry about her. You were just sitting where she normally sits. It was good for her to be forced to move."
I remember thinking that it's no wonder our churches aren't growing. This is the face of our Christianity. It's not a hospitable face. It's an inhospitable face.
Take this example from Dear Abby in last week's paper. The inquirer writes:
Dear Abby: I am writing about a change I have seen in church. I accept the loud guitar music and informal settings, although I do miss the traditional hymns and formal altars. What I cannot get used to is he forced "friendly" greeting and handshaking. I attend church meditate and to worship with my family. I do not got to sake hands with strangers and give them a greeting dictated by a pastor. I like people. I am naturally caring, outgoing and friendly. However, I believe that a greeting or handshake should come from my own heart. I have mentioned this to friends and family from all faiths, ages, and walks of life. None of them like this scheduled "greeting" either. Many say they head for the restroom at that time, turn their backs or just shake hands with the people they came with, come to church late to avoid it, or don't come at all. Others feel the practice is unsanitary. I suggest that the church leaders take an anonymous poll and ask how many in their congregations agree with me. What do you think, Abby? --MINISTER'S DAUGHTER
Dear Daughter: Thank you for asking my opinion. Here it is: Something is wrong in our fragmented society if, for one moment in a house of God, people cannot find it in their hearts to reach out and make sure that everyone feels included and welcome. And for those who fear it is unsanitary--bring small bottles of hand sanitizer.
"The Orlando Sentinel, Sunday, September 7, 2008"
Is it any wonder that those who don't find a home in the church CAN'T find a home in the church?
Thank God that this would never happen at St. Stephen.
May you all ponder God's heart of hospitality for the foreigner and the neighbor this week.
Peace unto your day...
Pastor Nathan
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4 comments:
I know I am late here I am just getting the chance to read the blogs. I think this one though really hit home for me. I even found myself smirking at the Dear Abby and your story, in memory of an inncident at our own church. We get so caught up in our own routines sometimes it's nice to change it up. However I think sometimes God doesn't inform the others we are changing haha. For example we generally go to the 9am service. One week I decided to go to the 11am service and there was no chior so I sat in the congragation. Well, right after the 9am service I put my stuff down on a chair, being a normal lutheran I choose that famous back row. Much to my surprize about 5 minutes before the service starts a nice old lady came up to me and whisphered in my ear,"You are in my seat". I was a little shocked since I had been there since right after the 9am service and she had just arrived. She was serious though and insisted that I move and so with a smile I did. I wonder, if this is the kind of hospitality we give our own family within the church (mind you she did not know me) how do we look to those who come searching for a home? My favorite quote in the Bible says "love your neighbor as yourself." I remind myself of this especially when I am not feeling particularly loveable and make a consious effort to try and turn my attitude around or atleast try to not let it effect those around me. I truly believe smiles, joy, and good works are contagious and even if you are having a bad day the more you do it can even turn your own day around. So basicly good hospitality is just as good for you as it is for those around you. Thank you Pastor for leading us in these 40 days you are doing a great job.(sorry the comment is so long)
Katherin...thanks for the story. So it HAS happened here? Well, we're a human community after all. I am proud of you however, that you showed forebearance within the family...a familial hospitality, and I like how you framed this.
But I'm saddened by the fact that one of our members asked a woman she didn't know to move because you were in "her seat."
I think we have to talk these things out though and share the stories. There's no other way to create the awareness. The stories allow us to see ourselves in ways we don't normally, and then prompt behavioral changes as awareness dawns.
I'm deeply appreciative of your comment AND its length. Thanks for taking the time to write and reflect and interact. I'm doing this blogging thing FOR the interaction...and it's good to know that folks are showing up to ready, reflect, and converse.
Blessings on you this week!
PN
I wondered if you were going to get to the Dear Abby column!
I guess I feel that people in church behave the way people outside behave. After all, we are still people, even if we come into church on Sunday. And people tend to do things the way they usually do things, even if they want to be a better version of themselves. We set about making our nests (that is MY pew), settling into little rituals of our own making (not necessarily Rituals), and soon, we are not living the revolutionary way Christ exhibited: that is-- a break from what was customary at the time. Love for all, not just for those we choose. Acceptance, others before self, etc. Am I off-base here?
Hopefully, given enough time, opportunity, leadership (like your sermons--go Pastor!)and love, we'll get it right? Darn, it's hard sometimes!
It is hard some times. But I think you nailed it. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Peace!
pn
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